Tiny men in skirts
by Oh I wish I were a bird
Summary: Edward visits FanFiction dot net. Wondering what kind of verb is 'roy' and why it is always in past tense, he clicks one of the stories and starts reading it. RoyEd and FangirlJapanese mocking, crackfic! Rated T for the story Ed reads.


One day, after another long day of work in _bones studio_ (because as you all may know, being an actor is hard, and anime roles are no exception) **(1)**, Edward came back home and turned on his computer to get on Facebook. He remembered a site named FanFiction that a person whose name is too unimportant to say told him about while the computer was being turned on, and decided to visit that first.

He opened his Internet browser, visited that site and went on the FMA archive.

There, he saw many various things, but quite a few of them had the word 'royed' in their summaries.

Wondering what kind of verb is 'roy' and why it is always in past tense, he clicked one of the stories and started reading it. **(2)**

**

* * *

^_^ HAI GUIIZZ! Tundera-chan ****here! dis is mai first RoyEd story! -squeals- u guiizz, i had lyk so much fun writing dis! :33 this couple is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! ok srsly i hate winry and riza SO much bcuz there just gettin in da way!1 *RAWR* cmon, roy and ed are TTLY canon! btwwww in case u havent already realised (lolz) this is yaoi, so plz dont read it if u dont likerzz it! flames will just make Tundera-chan saaad ;_; and u dnt want me sad do u? X3**

* * *

He blinked at the author's grammar. It was rather... odd. Just imagine, _HE_, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, that became State Alchemist at the tender age of 12, had to read it _three_ times to understand what it said. And was that Japanese he saw...?

* * *

**okayzzz so ill give u the stori nao... but dun worryzz, ill put an A/N in the end of dis tew! 83 PLZ R&R! ARIGATOOOU! X3**

one day, roy was working on his paperwork, as always, and was just procrastinating, as always. riza wasn't complaining to him about finishing it tho (_A/N: UUUURGH DATS WAI I HATEZ HER!1 stop nagging him woman, roy needs 2 take his tiem!1_), because she was awai. so where evr1 else. it was just him, allone. suddenly, the dor opend loudly and som1 came in running.

"TAISA!" he herd a not unon voice.

(_A/N: Guess whoooo X333_)

"...hagane no? wat r u doing hear?"

* * *

Ed blinked, once again. Why was there even more random Japanese in an obviously English story? And why all the odd grammar again?

* * *

"i wonted 2 see u!" dd said blushing.

"hagane no thats so sweet" said roy. "in fact I wanted to see u 2"

blushing even moar, ed lookd at roy again and said "i wont 2 tell u somthing!"

"wat is it?"

"taisa i luv u!"

"awww hagane no i luv u 2!"

* * *

Ed was... stupified, to say the least. He didn't know what to think anymoa- anymore. **(3)**

* * *

ed and roy then started kissing. _(A/N: AWWWWWWWW)_

when they stopped kissing bcuz they needeed air, roy smirked 1 of his thoghts.

"hagane no, i have an idea" roy said

"wat is it taisa?" ed said

"u see, i have a miniskirt in the closet" roy said

"and wat does that have to do wiff me?" ed said

"tiny men in skirts... thei turn me on" roy said

"WHO ARE U CALLIN SHORTER THAN A..." ed started screaming at hereing the word "tiny" _(A/N: LOLOLOLOLOLOL aw ed thats why we luv u!)_ but stopped. "turn u on?" he said while blushing

"yes" roy said

"well then..." ed said "i will wear that skirt"

* * *

Ed, that was almost CRYING from all this horribleness, sighed and continued reading.

He almost made it to the end of the story, when his eyes grew wide.

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT... ...WHAT IS THIS...!"

Edward was beyond shocked. His face had turned almost white, his eyes filled with horror and disgust.

That's it. He was scarred for life. This would make him need therapy- like he didn't need enough it already.

He couldn't take it anymore.

He fainted, making almost no sound as his scared beyond hell body touched the ground.

**SOME HOURS OR MINUTES OR SECONDS OR DAYS OR EVEN YEARS (WHO KNOWS) LATER**

"I'm back, Brother!" Al shouted while opening the door. "...Brother?" He looked around in the room, only to find Edward passed out on the floor. His computer was still on.

Confused and worried, Al looked at the screen.

* * *

"taisa, stop it! it hurts!"

* * *

Al was confused. Why was there Japanese in an obviously English story? What were they doing?

* * *

"but ull like it, hagane no"

"i dun care! Itai!"

"well its not easy for me either u no! truth be told, its tight..."

* * *

And so Al changed 1027846 colours and felt like throwing up but fainted, joining his brother, before he did so.

Armors can't throw up anyway. (Armors can't change colours either, you'll say, but Al's armor is special. Haven't you watched the anime? He always blushes!)

The brothers lived the rest of their lives without reading the final line that would create them a less scary, but still not good, mental image...

* * *

"u shoud ask whats my size before buying me clothes, i dont no how ill be able to get in this damn miniskirt, taisa!"

* * *

**Ah, Ed and Al... You poor dears... I'll give you money for the therapist, if you want.**

**=D RoyEd _and_ FangirlJapanese bashing! Don't you just love me?**

**(1) I believe all anime and manga characters are actors and that their personalities are almost the same as they are in the show. Which could be good at times, but also... bad (Higurashi anyone?) at others.  
**

**(2) When I first saw the word "royed", I thought it was a past tense verb. Stupid aren't I?  
**

**(3) I got rather distracted with all the n00b-language that I almost wrote "anymoar". I'm ashamed.**


End file.
